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HOLIDAYS!

  • Dec. 1st, 2009 at 11:18 AM
right, holidays. I'M BORED!!!
i seriously got nothing to do, but stare at the computer screen all day. ):
rawr..

Nov. 15th, 2009

  • 5:02 PM

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete

Nov. 8th, 2009

  • 2:59 PM

Gummy bears! :D

oh, and 'O' levels' ending!

thoughts

  • Nov. 3rd, 2009 at 11:39 AM
 " should i give it to them?" the question popped up during social studies paper yesterday. 
i really dont know, and was debating with myself all through the paper. ok, some parts of the debate was with God.

it's weird to give it to them just like that. for no rhyme or reason.
you dont need a special occasion to share.
but what if they reject me?
they're not rejecting you, they're rejecting me.
ok, i'm not going to think about this now.

before the next paper, i gave them the card for the event. maybe i just chose the wrong time. but i can't help but feel a hint of rejection. and that just threw me off. i almost make up my mind to not give the letters and not to continue writing. i was struggling inside. 

what if they look at me in a weird way. what if they reject it outright? ok, they have a choice to. but do i have the right to share? am i overstepping the boundary? i want to live my life like what Christ wants me to. to be His hands and feet. to reach out to the lost. 

and at night, during my quiet time,the material struck me. it was on regrets. 

God is in the business of providing amazingly incredible opportunities. Are you in the business of recognizing them? When you notice a classmate who's upset, do you see that as an opportunity to comfort her? When a friend is discouraged, do you recognized the opportunity to share the eternal hope you have?

Maybe you're not sure you have those opportunities. Then follow this strategy:
  • Pray for opportunities to share your faith. God is extremey faithful! If you ask Him to give you specific opportunities to share with others what he's doing in your life, he will. Make this request a part of your daily prayer life.
  • Pray for wisdom to recognize opportunities that God does bring your way. Learn to develop the habit of seeing everyone you came incontact with as either a lost soul or a saved soul. And determine to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the lost souls he brings across your path.
i've allowed alot of opportunities to slipped past me. and this time, i shouldn't let that happen again. i'm going to take the opportunity and go ahead with the letters. the reactions, the thoughts. i'll put them in God's hands.

just like the guy i've met last friday. it's like he's taking every opportunity to share. we were just talking about o levels when he asked if i believe in Jesus. from a casual conversation with a stranger to sharing his faith just like that. he didnt wait, but seize any opportunities he have. and things he said made me think. i should learn to be like him. and be bold to share my faith. i'm actually glad that i've met him. 

every day is a chance, not a promise. 

lord, thank you for giving me life.

Try.

  • Oct. 31st, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Try. the willingness to try.

often people refuse to take up the first step, the first irreversible step.
the fear, fear of failure often hinders people from that.

and i'm like that too. the fear always hold me back. to step out of my comfort zone is frightening. leaving all that is familiar behind.
but i'm trying. trying to take the first step. of course, with my hand in God's strong hand. allowing Him to remove the fear. fear of rejection, of failure. when i fall, He'll be there to pick me up, and continue on the journey, with Him leading me. (: thank you Lord.

i'm still trying. hard.

Another story.

  • Oct. 30th, 2009 at 6:13 PM

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. ‘cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have fail to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my kid, and failed to be the dad and mum for my kid.

There was one particular day, when i had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home.. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the ‘problem’…. a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

“Dad, I was hungry and there wasn’t any more leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But i remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence i turn on the shower and used the hot water fro! m the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till u return. But I forgot to remind you ‘cos I was playing with my toys…I am sorry Dad…”

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks…but I didn’t want my son to see his dad crying…so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the showerhead on to mask my cries….

After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son’s room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy….

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he! is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regrets. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son’s absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn’t to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, ‘I am sorry, Dad’. But after much probing, I realized that it was a ‘Talent Show’ organized by his school and the invite is for every student’s mummy and that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy…..

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. ‘cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It’s winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by…xmas carols and frantic shoppers….but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day’s work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn’t help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ‘ I’m sorry, Dad’ and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: ” But why did you post so many letters, at one time?” My son’s reply was: ” I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once…”

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say….

I told my son, ” Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promis ing that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn’t help opening one of the letter before they turned to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart….

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a ‘Talent Show’ in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our! own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. ‘cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife…..

________________________________________________________________________________________

a touching story. some actions by your close ones may not seems like what it should be. sometimes, there might be something behind it. something filled with love. something profound.


(http://www.nursesblog.com.sg/pauline/)

the Lord's Prayer

  • Oct. 23rd, 2009 at 10:56 AM
Our Father Who Art In Heaven.

Yes?

Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.

But -- you called ME!

Called you?
No, I didn't call you.
I'm praying.
Our Father who art in Heaven.

There -- you did it again!

Did what?

Called ME..
You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am....
What's on your mind?

But I didn't mean anything by it.
I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.
I always say the Lord's Prayer.
It makes me feel good,
Kind of like fulfilling a duty.

Well, all right.
Go on.

Okay, Hallowed be thy name .

Hold it right there.
What do you mean by that?

By what?

By "Hallowed be thy name"?

It means, it means . . Good grief,
I don't know what it means.
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer.
By the way, what does it mean?

It means honored, holy, wonderful.

Hey, that makes sense..
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before.
Thanks.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven..

Do you really mean that?

Sure, why not?

What are you doing about it?

Doing? Why, nothing, I guess.

I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control, of everything down here like you have up there.
We're kinda in a mess down here you know..

Yes, I know;
But, have I got control of you?

Well, I go to church.

That isn't what I asked you.

What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know.
And then there's the way you spend your money -- all on yourself.
And what about the kind of books you read ?

Now hold on just a minute!
Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at church!

Excuse ME..
I thought you were praying
For my will to be done.
If that is to happen, It will have to start with the ones who are praying for it.
Like you -- for example ..

Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups.
Now that you mention it,
I could probably name some others.

So could I.

I haven't thought about it very much until now,
But I really would like to cut out some of those things.
I would like to, you know, be really free.

Good.
Now we're getting somewhere.

We'll work together -- You and ME.

I'm proud of You.

Look, Lord, if you don't mind,
I need to finish up here.
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
Give us this day, our daily bread.

You need to cut out the bread...
You're overweight as it is.

Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty,
And all of a sudden you break in
And remind me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing.
You just might get what you ask for.

Remember, you called ME -- and here I am.
It's too late to stop now.
Keep praying. ( pause . )
Well, go on.

I'm scared to.

Scared? Of what?

I know what you'll say.

Try ME.

Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

What about Ann?

See? I knew it!
I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories.
She never paid back the money she owes me.
I've sworn to get even with her!

But -- your prayer --
What about your prayer?

I didn't -- mean it..

Well, at least you're honest.
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that bitterness and resentment isn't it?

Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her.
Boy, have I got some plans for her.
She'll wish she had never been born.

No, you won't feel any better.
You'll feel worse.
Revenge isn't sweet..
You know how unhappy you are --
Well, I can change that.

You can? How?

Forgive Ann.
Then, I'll forgive you;
And the hate and the sin, will be Ann's problem -- not yours.
You will have settled the problem as far as you are concerned.

Oh, you know, you're right.
You always are.
And more than I want revenge, I want to be right with You . . (sigh).
All right, all right . .
I forgive her.

There now!
Wonderful!
How do you feel?

Hmmmm. Well, not bad.
Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight.
I haven't been getting much rest, you know.

Yeah, I know.
But, you're not through with your prayer, are you?
Go on....

Oh, all right.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Good! Good! I'll do that.
Just don't put yourself in a place
where you can be tempted.

What do you mean by that?

You know what I mean.
Yeah. I know.
Okay.

Go ahead... Finish your prayer.

For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory forever.
Amen.

Do you know what would bring me glory --
What would really make me happy?

No, but I'd like to know.
I want to please you now..
I've really made a mess of things..
I want to truly follow you...
I can see now how great that would be.
So, tell me . . .
How do I make you happy?

YOU just did.

a story.

  • Oct. 14th, 2009 at 4:06 PM

I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. ‘Just a minute’, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90’s stood before me. She was wearing a prink dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets..

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

‘Would you carry my bag out to the car?’ she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. ‘It’s nothing’, I told her. ‘I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated’..
‘Oh, you’re such a good boy’, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, ‘Could you drive through downtown?’

‘It’s not the shortest way,’ I answered quickly.
‘Oh, I don’t mind,’ she said. ‘I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice’.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. ‘I don’t have any family left,’ she continued. ‘The doctor says I don’t have very long.’ I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

‘What route would you like me to take?’ I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, ‘I’m tired. Let’s go now’

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

‘How much do I owe you?’ she asked, reaching into her purse.
‘Nothing,’ I said

‘You have to make a living,’ she answered.

‘There are other passengers,’ I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

‘You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,’ she said.

‘Thank you.’

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

 
Life may not be the party we hoped for,

but while we are here we might as well dance.

(http://www.nursesblog.com.sg/pauline/)

Aug. 24th, 2009

  • 6:57 PM



i hope whoever come here will listen to this. it's touching. very.


---------------------------------

just run to Him.


Aug. 23rd, 2009

  • 9:26 PM


You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

一步一步來

  • Jul. 31st, 2009 at 4:06 PM

童年時候多自在 樣樣都可愛
哥哥天天上學去 我等著他回來
我問爸爸何時我也讓那校車載
爸爸笑著對我說 一步一步來
上了學校才知道 考試不可愛
上課總是看手表 哎喲假期幾時來
我問老師何時才能將那方帽戴
老師笑著對我說 一步一步來
太陽下山明早依舊爬上來
夜裡不要通宵看那錄像帶
花兒謝了明年還是一樣地開
考不好未必有機會重頭來

十七八歲多古怪 學人談戀
情書寫了十多封 在車站苦等待
吃飯跳舞真不壞 送她回家說good night
她的媽媽開門說 你給我一步一步來
畢了業我才知道 社會更可愛
應徵前後幾十次 只有一次沒失敗
薪水不敢說出來 夜裡要把工開
現在行情壞 我的老板說 你要一步一步來
太陽下山明早依舊爬上來
星期天能不能慢點爬上來
花兒謝了明年還是一樣地開
哪家公司今年又將人員裁

結了婚我才知道 什麼叫做債
老婆總算娶回來 沒錢生小乖乖
家俱電器真不賴 價錢更精彩
夜夜繽紛看開懷 其他一步一步來
什麼時候駕著車往兒子學校開
放學的兒子告訴我他明天考天才
天才不是人人做 平凡也不壞
我說搭巴士也要把隊排 你要一步一步來
太陽下山明早依舊爬上來
高樓再高它還是要爬上來
花兒謝了明年還是一樣地開
只要空氣還沒污染得太壞
太陽下山明早依舊爬上來
我的青春匆匆地鐵那樣快
花兒謝了明年還是一樣地開
人生最好還是一步一步來

random

  • Jul. 28th, 2009 at 5:11 PM



新的年棉花新的布 媽媽給我縫衣服
棉衣穿在我身上 媽媽臉上笑嘻嘻

穿過許多的新棉袍 多麽平凡的驕傲
一年又一年 一件又一件 穿過快樂穿過年少
曾經說過穿新衣好 媽媽縫得驕傲
總是一次次 總在無意時 勾破媽媽的辛勞

新衣變成舊衣了 就像囉嗦的嘮叨
媽媽說的話 全都聽不下 不要擔心不要牽挂
我用冷漠證明長大 我用傷害換取瀟灑
舊的都不好 舊的都忘掉 只有新的才是最好

如今新衣又變舊了 穿著悔恨總縫不好
總是一次次 總在試一試 想起媽媽和藹的笑
如今穿不下舊棉袍 只有媽媽的愛不老
想在她耳邊 輕輕說一句 新衣服哪有舊的好

想在她耳邊 輕輕說一句 新衣服哪有舊的好

_________________________________________________





meaningful lyrics. how true how true.
______________________________





梁文福、劉瑞政、王邦吉、許南盛 -《歲月列車》
詞曲∶梁文福

你说过你的行李就是勇气,你说那辽阔明天就是目的地。
可是那列车汽笛此刻响起,它声声催促你,把乡愁带去。
你说过你的征旅向着黎明,你说在异乡也有新的忧和喜。
可是当列车的烟长长的生起,它是否也拖着,你的记忆。
噢我的年少知己,岁月列车匆匆去,故乡永远在等你,只是昔日回不去。
一种旅行叫时间,一个故乡叫从前,黄昏车站里,我们相送着自己。
噢我的年少知己,眼泪欢笑慢慢去,请将祝福也带去,为了我珍重自己。
一种不回头的旅行,我们渐渐会熟悉,黄昏列车去,开向别离。
_________________________________________________________





_________________________________



____________________________________



:D childhood memories.
________________________________



Jul. 28th, 2009

  • 5:00 PM
ok, got back papers. i just dont understand, why do hard work not pay off? maybe i'm just dumb not that smart. i just feel so discouraged.

hmm...

  • Jul. 21st, 2009 at 7:34 PM
Médecins Sans Frontières!

Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) is an international medical humanitarian organization created by doctors and journalists in France in 1971.

Today, MSF provides aid in nearly 60 countries to people whose survival is threatened by violence, neglect, or catastrophe, primarily due to armed conflict, epidemics, malnutrition, exclusion from health care, or natural disasters. MSF provides independent, impartial assistance to those most in need. MSF reserves the right to speak out to bring attention to neglected crises, to challenge inadequacies or abuse of the aid system, and to advocate for improved medical treatments and protocols.
 

--------------------------------------------

yeah, Doctors Without Borders. (:

):

  • Jul. 7th, 2009 at 10:55 PM
sigh. my biology is getting from bad to worse. ):
physics too.  and now even my "best" subjects are getting worse.




must buck up!

(:

  • Jul. 3rd, 2009 at 4:04 PM
:D yeah. HBL is finally completed. the workload for this week is so much more than normal school days. (on average) one word: tiring. prelims are coming too. so not prepared. haven't been studying. :X i should buck up and start studying already. only a four months left. it seems long, but in reality, it's not. time flies. too quickly. got to learn to treasure the time i have. do meaningful stuff instead of just wasting them away. i've been thinking, what do i really want to do? what has God install for me? am i on the right path? or have i strayed away?

Jul. 3rd, 2009

  • 12:51 AM
Feisty Char needs bullets to fight!


____________________________________________________________


i can't help feeling glad that i'm healthy.

thankyou LORD for giving me life. and a healthy body.
bless the little girl and heal her.
comfort her mum and brother too.
let them feel your love.
help her mum to be strong for her.
be with them, LORD.
in Jesus' name.
AMEN.

thoughts

  • Jul. 1st, 2009 at 12:53 PM
war, why do people go to war?
why do people fight to get something that they don't have but others have?
why aren't we contented with what we have?

imagine a world,
where everyone work together and play together.
where everyone shares and cares for each other.
where everyone is contented with what they have.
where everyone is just like one big family.

imagine a world,
where there's no poverty.
where there's peace and harmony.
where there's equality,
where there's food, clothes and shelter for everyone.

imagine a world,
where people lend a helping hand.
where children play and laugh.
where love is everywhere.

imagine a world
without war.
without poverty.

what would it be like?

"Tell Me Why"

  • Jul. 1st, 2009 at 12:29 PM





In my dreams children sing
A song of love for every boy and girl
The sky is blue the fields are green
And laughter is the language of the world
Then I wake and all I see is a world full of people in need

Tell me why, does it have to be like this
Tell me why, is there something I have missed
Tell me why, I don't understand
When somebody needs somebody
We don't give a helping hand
Tell me why

Every day I ask myself what I have to do to be a man
Do I have to stand and fight
To prove to everybody who I am
Is that what my life is for
To waste in a world full of war

Tell me why, does it have to be like this
Tell me why, is there something I have missed
Tell me why, I don't understand
When somebody needs somebody
We don't give a helping hand
Tell me why
Tell me why
Tell me why
Just tell me why

Why why, do the tiders run
Why why, do we shoot the gun
Why why, do we never learn
Can someone tell us why we cannot just be freinds
Why Why.